Whether you are the betrayed partner or the betrayor, infidelity packs a seriously traumatic emotional wallop that requires professional therapy and support. This site is not rooted in science; its not moderated by counselors and anything goes. Its a super-charged powder keg of raw emotion and opinions. The fact that divorcees are offering advice on how to save your marriage from destruction should be your first hint this site is bad news. Group think and anonymous bullying abounds. You either agree with what the group says or you get trounced. Dont dare challenge folks or call BS on their logic youll get banned. There are some high profile martyrs who think they know-it-all and viciously Attack others who are vulnerable and hurting. The site clearly has an anti-counselor/anti-faith bias. Theres a reason every LMFT, PCC, LISW and psychologist Ive talked to has warned me of the site. Sure, theres a handful of people who are genuinely caring and offer support. The vast majority of members, though, attempt to (unfairly and incorrectly) diagnose complete strangers with mental and personality disorders. They add to the trauma both partners are experiencing and offer seriously dangerous and damaging advice that no counselor would provide. When your marriage is on the brink, the worst thing you can do is detach emotionally and physically, yet that is the basis of the 180 mind control philosophy pushed by this site. Members openly encourage betrayed spouses to file divorce to play mind games and control their wayward spouse. They encourage ridiculously controlling and offensive actions such as polygraphs, infidelity funds and Post-nips. They freely offer legal opinions not understanding every state and country is different. Do yourself a favor and invest in a good affair recovery therapist. And Read Not Just Friends by Dr. Shirley Glass and How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair. You'll spare yourself heart-wrenching angst and min warping drama. What else do you expect from a group of loosely moderated, angry, bitter people empowered by anonymity? This isn't therapy. Its a scam for the site operators to make money off hurting people.
UPDATE: Well in case anyone had any doubts about the validity of my review and characterization of the types of attitudes and personalities at play on SurvivingInfidelity.com... along comes "Kate C." to attack me personally. That alone should speak volumes about the type of experience that awaits users on this site.
It's bad enough that members slander and attack completely anonymous strangers on SurvivingInfidelity.com, but to bring details to an unrelated, third party site is unconscionable. It says more about who you are as a person Kate than it does me.
The bottom line is this site is clearly not for everyone. We're all different and entitled to our own perspectives and opinions. Feelings are neither right nor wrong (unless you disagree with the majority on this site!) I agree with my LPCC: this site is full of angry, revenge-minded individuals and not worth the price of rent in your head. I can only speak from personal experience, but our struggles were actually more manageable BEFORE we discovered this site. Things have spiralled out of control since we stumbled upon the site. That's what happens when you leave something as important as your marriage in the hands of complete strangers.
BTW, Kate C. -- you should know, you're wrong about several assumptions you've made. But, this is EXACTLY the type of accusatory behavior one can expect from SI, where a group of anonymous strangers from across the globe insert themselves in everyone's personal business and somehow feel morally and ethically justified in making judgments about others. I'm A) NOT a therapist and B) I don't have any other accounts (Admin can easily block IP addresses). Here's some advice: mind your own business and take care of your own problems before you meddle in other people's lives!
I do, however, work in behavioral healthcare administration and find it irresponsible and despicable the way untrained individuals toss around diagnoses and labels such as narcissist, addict, family of origin issues, etc. Such malicious posts A) destroy individual credibility and B) reflects poorly on the character of the individual making such outrageous statements about complete strangers.
Kate C. - Your personal attack is pathetic and sad. You completely abused the purpose of this site to attack me. Look, I'm sorry you've experienced the pain of infidelity in your life. I can't even pretend to know your circumstances (and I'm smart enough not to assume I do) but, what I do know is this: infidelity is the single-most gut-wrenching experience for all parties involved. Kate, I hope you are able to find happiness and purpose in your own life. Our days here on earth are numbered and life is too short to be angry and upset at others. I still read comments on the site (you don't have to log in to see the forums you know) and it breaks my heart to see all the sadness and brokenness in the world. I'm sure every member wishes they could go back to better times. I know I do.
Kate: I hope you feel better after attacking me. Whatever it takes to find the pathway to healing and recovery. Be well.